The Car Ride to Rehab: One Man's Journey from Rock Bottom to Freedom

Laura Gates
Jan 16
7 min read

Sometimes the people who look like they have it all together are the ones fighting the hardest battles behind closed doors. My conversation with Tim Winters, someone I've known since high school, reminded me that we never really know what's happening in someone's life until they trust us enough to share their truth.

The Boy with Pop-Tarts in His Locker

In high school, Tim looked like he had it all figured out. He was popular, he passed out handwritten notes to the girls every day, and he kept Pop-Tarts in his locker, which made his locker the go-place to hang out between class bells.

But that's not what Tim remembers.

"I grew up never really comfortable in my own skin," he told me. "I struggled with identity. I was a bit of a chameleon and blended in with everybody."

He remembers his mother pulling him aside after he said something in public: "It is better to be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt."

From that point on, Tim became gun-shy about what came out of his mouth. He kept things back. His inability to communicate impacted his relationships - he felt he couldn't be vulnerable, couldn't truly be himself.

Somewhere along the line alcohol entered the picture, easing the teenage social awkwardness. "It became the way for me to douse some of the pain I felt," he said. "It made me a different person. Made me more outgoing, made me happier, at least for the moment."

As his friend, I had no idea. The person I saw in high school and the person Tim experienced himself being were completely different people.

When "Just This Once" Becomes Every Day

Tim didn't think he had a problem. Sure, there were times he wasn't 100% sure what happened the night before. There were segments of the film reel missing. But he could stop drinking for periods of time. Seven days. Forty-five days once.

"Those things always happened after something bad happened," he explained. "Whether I got in a fight with my son or was over the line at a party. It was really my way of proving to myself that I wasn't an alcoholic."

The Sunday Afternoon Revelation

Less than a week before entering rehab, Tim was sitting on the back steps of his son's house on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. He'd been drinking at a bar that opened at 9:30 AM on football game days.

He told his girlfriend:: "I feel like I'm wasting the day away. I should probably be in rehab."

He was half-kidding.

Less than a week later, his daughter-in-law drove him there.

The Intervention He Didn't See Coming

His daughter-in-law had told him he needed to leave for the weekend while they cleaned his living area. She'd take him to a hotel.

"I knew right then and there something was up," Tim said. "We were probably five minutes into the drive and I said, 'Where are we going?' And she said, 'I'm taking you to rehab.'"

For a split second, he thought about yanking the door open and rolling out of the car.

"I played that movie forward. Where am I gonna run to? I don't even have my suitcase. I'm not gonna be allowed back in the house. All of those roads lead to nowhere."

He surrendered.

The Words That Changed Everything

In rehab, people told Tim something he'd never heard before: "You don't have to worry about the rest of your life. You just have to not drink today."

"It was like this big balloon had popped in front of me," he said. "I finally realized that was the key. Just not drink today. Sometimes it's just not drink this hour."

That was almost three years ago.

"I am fairly certain I would not be talking to you right now if I continued to live the life that I led," Tim told me. "I was playing Russian roulette on a daily basis."

What Nobody Tells You About Getting Sober

Tim explained something that struck me as profound. "Alcoholics Anonymous helped me stop drinking. But the bigger thing for me was figuring out how to get better at life. Dealing with life on life's terms without pouring alcohol on top of it so I could numb it."

He talked about building a toolkit. Meditation (something he never thought he'd do). Prayer every morning (another thing he never imagined). Going to meetings daily, whether on Zoom or in person.

"If you would've told me even a year ago that I would meditate on a regular basis and pray every morning, I would tell you that you're crazy," he said.

But here's what amazed him most: "The highs aren't so high, the lows aren't so low. I have this even keel to myself."

His anxiety and depression started to lift. Not completely, but enough that he could see progress. He could deal with day-to-day challenges without reaching for a drink.

"My life is not all red carpets and sunny days," he said. "But I deal with the day-to-day challenges a heck of a lot better than I clearly did in the past."

The Spiritual Awakening He Didn't Expect

On Tim's first day at rehab, he was given a tour. On Friday nights, they had a talent show to prove people could have fun without alcohol.

Tim headed toward the building, but there was a fork in the path. To the left was the talent show. Straight ahead was a small chapel overlooking the Chesapeake Bay.

"All of a sudden I was told to go to the church," he said.

Tim and church were not “best of buds”. He maybe went on major holidays when his mother dragged him.

But he went in. He knelt down. He doesn't remember specifically what he prayed for, but he remembers being thankful he was there. He prayed for his family who had to deal with his problems.

"I remember praying, 'Help me. Just help me.' Because I had to surrender and I didn't know what was gonna happen."

After five or ten minutes, he walked over to the talent show. He was standing off to the side when he felt this warmth come over his body.

"Somebody was telling me you're right where you're supposed to be. I've got you," he said. "I believe it was a higher power. That was kind of my confirmation that there's a higher power."

[Listen to the full episode to hear about Tim's transformation from transactional prayers to a daily dialogue with something greater than himself, and why he now meditates every single morning.]

What He Wants You to Know

I asked Tim what he'd say to people whose loved ones are struggling with addiction.

"Have an honest conversation," he said. "Try not to accuse them. Say, 'When you drink, I feel like...' Talk about how you feel, not what they did."

But he was also honest about the hardest truth: "Some people, you don't know where their bottom is. Having three DWIs isn't enough for some people. They need to experience more. The decision has to be made by the person in terms of whether they want to get help or not."

For Tim, he realized he wasn't going to be in people's lives if he didn't get his stuff together.

"That was enough for me to say, whatever it takes, I'm gonna do this and stay sober one day at a time."

The Baggage He Finally Put Down

One of the most powerful moments in our conversation came when Tim talked about resentments. He'd carried anger toward his father for years because his dad was older when he had Tim. His father's arm would get tired throwing the football in the driveway.

"I'm never gonna be an old parent," Tim vowed. "I'm gonna have a son when I'm younger."

He carried that resentment until he was out of rehab. Through the AA steps, he finally let go.

"I appreciate so many more things that he did from a positive perspective now," he said. "I was carrying this baggage, dragging it from place to place with me for no reason at all."

He described his life now as traveling light. No luggage. Free.

My Takeaway

This conversation with Tim reminded me of something crucial: we have no idea what's happening behind the scenes in people's lives. The popular kid in high school was struggling with identity and self-worth. The successful sales professional was playing Russian roulette with his life every single day.

Tim's story also reminds me that sometimes the people who love us have to make decisions we can't make for ourselves. His daughter-in-law driving him to rehab. What looked like intervention was actually love.

And perhaps most importantly, Tim's journey shows that transformation is possible. That warmth he felt in the chapel, that voice that told him "you're right where you're supposed to be"? That's available to all of us when we're willing to surrender, to ask for help, to finally put down the baggage we've been dragging around.

Tim is almost three years sober now. He meditates daily. He prays every morning. He has a relationship with his son and gets to spend time with his grandchildren.

The boy with Pop-Tarts in his locker who was trying to buy friendship has become a man who can finally just be himself.

And as he told me: "If people like me, great. If they don't, no harm, no foul. I'm good with that."

Listen to the full episode of "Surrendering to the Signs" to hear Tim's complete story, including the moment in the car when he almost jumped out, and why he believes someone whispered to him to walk into that chapel on his first day of rehab.

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, please reach out for help. Alcoholics Anonymous meetings are available worldwide, and the program welcomes anyone seeking support.