A Journey Through Trauma, Near-Death, and Spiritual Awakening

In this profound episode of "Surrendering to the Signs," I sit down with my longtime friend Sherold Barr to explore her extraordinary journey through multiple life-altering traumas, a near-death experience, and the spiritual awakening that transformed her relationship with suffering itself.

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The Secret City and Synchronicities

Sherold and I first met in 2011 when we both enrolled in B-School, back when online business education was still in its infancy. But Sherold's story begins much earlier, in a place she calls "the secret city" - Oak Ridge, Tennessee, which was part of the Manhattan Project.

"I've been marinated in secrets for my whole life," she explains. "I'm learning about what that really means to me, because I’m writing a memoir and discovering things about myself through that journey."

What unfolds in our conversation is a testament to finding meaning in the hardest of times and transforming trauma into wisdom. But first, there's an incredible synchronicity that sets the stage.

The Byron Connection

Sherold's journey of spiritual awakening began with the tragic murder of her younger brother - a cold case that remains unsolved 20 years later. Her brother was gay, and in Tennessee at that time, there wasn't much support for pursuing justice.

For five years, Sherold threw herself into the case, visiting investigators, going to crime scenes, testifying in court. "I was in a prison," she realizes now. "The perpetrator was free and I was in prison."

The breakthrough came through the work of Byron Katie - and here's where the synchronicity becomes almost unbelievable. Byron Katie's inquiry method helped Sherold realize she had created her own suffering, her own emotional prison, while trying to seek justice for her brother.

"My brother's name was Byron," she tells me, and we both pause to take in the profound connection between her brother's name and the teacher who would help set her free.

A Mother's Worst Fear

Years later, when Sherold's son was diagnosed with a rare genetic disease requiring life-threatening surgeries, she faced every parent's deepest fear. Using Byron Katie's inquiry process, she questioned the thought "he will die."

Through this work with three different facilitators, something extraordinary happened during the third session: "I had an experience as if I were sitting on a bench, and next to me was my mother identity, kicking and screaming and saying, 'I can't live,' and I'm sitting next to it in pure peace. I could see that was my ego going wild."

When she shared this experience with Byron Katie directly, her response was simple: "Your son must be so proud of you. You know, being awake."

Sherold didn't even know what "awake" meant at the time, but this experience fundamentally shifted how she understood her identity beyond the roles she played.

When Inner Guidance Goes Unheeded

Perhaps the most striking part of Sherold's story involves a moment when she didn't trust her inner voice - with near fatal consequences. While vacationing in Baja Mexico, she and her husband planned to go whale watching. That morning, their friends cancelled because the wife wasn't feeling well.

"I said to my husband, I don't want to go because she's not going to be there. We're going to be here a month and I can go again." But her husband insisted they had committed to go.

"So I didn't trust myself," Sherold reflects. "I got in the van."

On the way back from whale watching, their van was hit by another car and flipped over. Sherold was the most seriously injured, suffering internal injuries that would require five major surgeries in 15 days.

[Listen to the full conversation to hear the incredible synchronicities that saved her life, including a brand new ambulance that happened to be driving through the desert with no medical staff, and a doctor named Dr. Angel.]

A Voice in the Darkness

During her medical ordeal, Sherold had a near-death experience that changed everything. Between worlds, in darkness, unconscious but somehow conscious, a voice came to her telepathically from the left side.

"The voice said, 'You get to choose how you go through this experience. What will you choose?' And I immediately thought, I don't want to be a victim, so I'll choose the high road and I'll use love and gratitude to heal."

What followed was a complete shift in consciousness. "It was almost like my body was a puppet. My body was a shell. And I was a spirit looking out of my eyes. It was such a different experience."

The medical staff noticed something different about her. Dr. Kill (yes, that was really her doctor’s name) later told her, "When everybody gets sent here, they want out immediately. But you were different. You were in acceptance."

The Power of High-Road Healing

During her six weeks in the hospital, Sherold practiced what she now calls "high-road healing." Instead of fighting with the circumstances, she found ways to stay in gratitude and love. She wrote thank-you notes to the ICU nurses every night, once addressing one to "the Queen of Catheters."

The manager told her that no one ever thanked the staff - they usually only complained. Sherold's approach created a completely different experience for everyone involved.

When she learned she needed a fifth surgery, she remained peaceful while her husband broke down crying. "He said, 'Because you're suffering.' And I said, 'I'm not suffering. You're suffering.'"

Breaking the Pattern

Through writing her memoir, Sherold has uncovered patterns that nearly cost her life. Her father had taught her, "Don't depend on anyone, you have to take care of yourself." This unconscious belief drove her to be completely self-reliant, never allowing anyone to truly care for her.

The accident forced her to receive care from her husband for the first time in their relationship. "I hadn't really allowed anyone to ever take care of me. I was pushing boulders up the hill my entire life."

Her mentor, Al, pointed out the deeper truth: "You don't trust yourself. You got in the van, you nearly died. Your brother Byron didn't trust himself either. You were on a collision course to die like Byron because you didn't listen to yourself."

A Completely Spiritual Life

Today, Sherold lives what she calls "a completely spiritual life." She's been sober for over a year, works with Internal Family Systems therapy for trauma healing, and is finishing her memoir "High Road to Healing."

"I'm a spiritual being in a human body," she says with clarity. "I want to be clear and I want to be of service."

She's developing a program to help others navigate health crises without creating additional suffering - sharing the practical wisdom she gained from her own journey through multiple traumas and healing.

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Sherold's story demonstrates that our greatest challenges can become our greatest teachers when we're willing to question our thoughts, trust our inner guidance, and choose the high road even in the darkest moments. The synchronicities in her life - from Byron Katie helping heal her grief over Byron, to the mysterious ambulance in the desert - remind us that we're supported in ways we can't always see or understand.

Listen to the full conversation to hear the complete story of Sherold's whale-watching experience, the incredible medical synchronicities that saved her life, and her powerful insights about transforming trauma into wisdom.

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Sherold is currently writing her memoir "High Road to Healing" and developing programs to help others navigate health crises with greater consciousness and less suffering. She can be found at www.Sheroldbarr.com